Category Archives: Abstract

Middle class disorder

I was talking to a very old and dearest friend of mine from good old days,Jitesh from nearly half an hour on various topics shifting from life in Indore to his Interview experience and finally to our personal lives. He coyly confessed in a mischievous tone that he finally had his so-called “moment”. Now by moment, I knew he just meant a kiss and that too with a person he had been in a relationship for two years now.

But then a thought strike in my mind and I asked him, “Yar, shall I ask you something?”
He said,” Yes, please do.”
” I am so surprised that even sex is so easy going for people here.”
He said, “So?”
I said, “But how can it? I just don’t understand it, they will just have it with someone and next day they will be as normal as if nothing had happened and may even have it with someone else too.”

I told him,”It was just yesterday that I was talking to one of my batch mate here, and you know what he said? He was saying his aim here is to get laid with as many girls possible. He said, what use of being too serious is and follow monogamy. And also, that giving importance to stuff like sex with one partner is very narrow-minded thinking and does not make a person of this generation a stud or something ”

He stopped me then n there “wohwohwoh…!!Take a break for a second man….!”

But I wasn’t ready to stop.

I continued, “But won’t they have that feeling of attachment? How is it possible to have no strings attached, after having done everything? How people made it so easy to have a one night stand or a very short course of relationship to which they call it ‘Love’.”

He said, “Because it’s not them , it’s you , me and us. The people stuck in the middle part of society.”

The discussion on this topic went on for next 15-20 minutes, which was never-ending but even after disconnecting the phone call, I was thinking about it.

Maybe yes, there is something called as “MIDDLE-CLASS DISORDER”. So many things which take shape as a mentality of the person, once they are in the middle class and then again dilute once they are above this class. Poors either can’t afford or don’t need to follow some norms. For them meeting every day’s needs is the first priority and how they are acting or how others are perceiving them hardly matters. But when they are in middle class society, they get bothered about what ‘those four people’ will talk about them, and it matters most than their own thought. They have to maintain that one image in the society. For them, a small dent on their image is like that crack on the mirror which cannot be repaired, because there isn’t any ‘forget me’ law applicable to their peers. And once they become rich, becoming cool, maintaining that status quo becomes a necessity rather than their will. If they are not ‘Yo-man’ types, their peers don’t let them become a part of ‘KOOL CLUB’.

Many things indicate this. Starting from simple social things like wearing enough clothes to cover your skin, because poor can’t afford to do it and once they earn enough they spend a very large amount on ‘systematically showing it off’. But the middle class needs to be well maintained so that they look sophisticated types. Men will wear simple design when they can’t just afford clothes and gets drugged with designer wears, they would start wearing colourful clothes once they earn some fortune and again wearing simple becomes classy once you turn rich. When you are poor you can’t afford to go out and eat in hotels, once you start earning some money that becomes the only way of celebration. Many teenagers of college going students spend the large sum of money on going out with friends just because once their friends treated them out so if they don’t that will not give out a good example. And once you turn too rich, it becomes a custom to celebrate random things so that you can maintain your status.
When you are poor you can’t afford to have four walls to have the total privacy of your most private moments, this particular topic becomes taboo when you are a middle-class person and beyond middle-class society, it becomes a topic of your “studness”.
Same goes with behavioural aspects too. If you are poor you can’t show off the power of money. Once you are in middle class, you want to talk about it in peers to gain some respect, sometimes by means like clothes that you wear, the vehicle you drive, but once you are rich, you start giving quotes like, “money doesn’t matter”.

Same goes with political aspirations. When you are in the lower strata, you love politics, may be because that’s what can get you out of your deeply screwed life. Once you enter this middle-class genre, politics becomes most hated or “not for us” thing. And once you earn too much, you again become an integral part of that same ‘politics’.
These are the big issues but we can also take an example of a very small issue like the way of talking. Talking to each other in abusive language is must, else you won’t be able to win fights. But then this becomes a problem in middle class. Once you reach that rich level, unless you call someone “mother fucker’ or use F-word various times, you are not cool.

Poor start drinking out of pressure that they have. But then jab Sharma ji’s son is found drunk by two of his neighbor. Sharmaji can’t appear in social meeting for next few days. Whereas in a higher class, if you are not holding a glass of wine with proper gesture in a social gathering, people will start looking at you with a doubt.
What we can observe with above examples that, there are many habits that exist in lower n upper class. Their forms may differ or there might be a difference in the way they are carried out. But those are things that not only disappear from middle class’s behavior but they even become taboo sometimes.

Ravana : the conflict of desires and morals

(Thanks a lot Bhagyashree for helping me out with editing)

I used to go to all the Kathas, organised in my hometown. Being from a middle-class family, we had only one TV in our home. So I  always had to watch those series which were related to Rama and Krishna, as my grandmother watched those. I was the kind of kid who was inclined towards spirituality from start.

 

I always liked the character of Rama and appreciated, not just because he was a god but also because of the characteristics they used to show. I liked how much obedient Rama was or how much he loved his wife or the bonding he had with his brother or for even his Vanar Sena . I truly believed, these characteristics are something to have as a virtue. As a kid I hated Ravana for the actions he chose to perform or sometimes just because of evil face he had in the serials.

 

With time we started talking about it, discussing spirituality in given way as well as their present relevance. One day my group of friends in VNIT were going to Chandrama (Night Canteen of college) and a friend of mine suddenly asked, ” what would you like to be a Rama or a Ravana?”

 

My immediate question was, “how can you even ask about it?”

 

He explained himself, “I was reading some article about it and asked it because it is said that Ravana was the most sagacious person in the world, he had that empire which others would be an envy of, in that period his empire was known as ‘the golden lanka ‘, he had that technology in that time which we think of now. He was the bramhin which during that time are known for their acumen, he was most powerful king by army that he had defeated the famous karma god ‘Shani dev’ and held him prisoner. ”

 

I replied, “But at the end, what matters is your character. What is the use of all that, when he didn’t have a good character” The discussion was long and interesting enough to fill more than 20 blogs but the relevance of those doesnot stick to the main idea of this one.

 

Why I thought about it now  because today is the first day I am understanding and appreciating some parts of what ravana did. I am not saying what he did was right, but at least, I could think of  there may have been reasons which lead to misleading most wise men on earth to choose the path of evil. There can be something which you truly want, but you can’t have.

 

Initially, he wanted to take revenge for his sister and took the first step, he had never planned to fall for Sita but in the end, he did. Despite of his desires towards Sita, he never forced himself on her. He kept Sita in security of his best female guards and away from all the ‘aasuras’ including himself. He always wanted Sita to accept him willingly, but he knew he would never have her. This made him go  to the extent for wrong tactics or fighting a war. (Even though Rama had started it)

 

May be there comes a time in your life, when you just want something at any cost. Ravana wanted Sita, Duryodhana wanted Kingdom, etc. History has been a  witness to the fact that every person at some point in his life face this conflict to choose between the Rama (good) and Ravana (evil) existing within. And also the fact that this conflict gives rise to either great heros of the time or to the biggest villians of all times.

 

I can corelate to it because I am standing in a situation, where I know truly want something or rahter I should say I need it, but i know I cannot have it without embracing the ravana that exists within me. The thing is that the ‘Sanskaras’ given to me by my family and my morals stops me in doing.

 

Even if I don’t took the step on the path of wrong-doing I will always know in my heart that the thought of taking the wrong path came to my mind to achieve my desires. What makes me sad is that how vulnarable human can be to let desires to takeover on rationality. I am not at all saying Ravana was right. What am saying is if Ravana, the most maverick man can go wrong, then may be sometimes I can too.

 

All I can control is to hope that the Rama in me wins the battle from the ravana within me. So that there should not the situation comes that the Rama from the outside world have to take steps to defeat the Ravana in me.

A night of Daydreaming

The memories of childhood are the memories which make us what we are currently. Regardless of the age, those are the memories we carry with ourselves throughout our lives holding closely near to our heart.
Those were the childhood days when all my cousins used to visit my home for summer vacation. During those days, my family for four used to expand in a size bigger than a big fat Indian joint family. That was the period when every moment regardless of day or night is memorable for all of us. Everyone of us including me and my sister has little bit different memories for other typical Indian child.That was of sleeping on the terrace. All of us, kids, used to go and sleep on the terrace, partially because of the reason that it used to be summer, partially because of the fact that we used to get a chance to stay awake longer in the absence of elders of the house.
That was one such beautiful night and all of my cousins, except me and my one brother, were exhausted to sleep after playing for the whole day. That was a full moon night with the moon as a big ivory-colored ball.I don’t remember when and how I started ogling at such a mesmerizing beauty of the night.
In childhood, we always get scared of night and darkness, but that night was something different. The darkness of night was completely and gracefully bathing in the milky light of the moon. It just looked more beautiful than usual. I was dumbstruck while looking at the purity of glow that was coming out of that shining satellite. There were few clouds that night specially near the moon and the wind was flowing at an unusual rate. The clouds were complementing the view of the night making it appear like the moon was blinking its eyes every now and then while the wind was the messenger between me and the moon. Whispers of the wind were appearing to be like it was asking me that am I staring at it and was feeling shy for the same reason.
By that time, I had started learning science and was very well aware that Moon is not something I would be getting any day. But my heart just constantly was asking me for it. I just kept staring at it as if I have certain right on it, capturing it in my mind forever. I knew for the fact that it would be there like this tomorrow, may not be in the same shape, but it will return to this shape someday. But my heart was making it harder to accept the fact, as it felt that the glory moon was holding that night won’t be coming back. It had just taken the control over my mind and was asking my eyes to take most of it.
My sense of vision was trying to convince my mind that Ok, you are not lucky enough to have it and you never know when you will be looking at it again. My science teacher had told us a theory of the cycle of the moon and it made my heart beat faster for few minutes. Till then my cousin had noticed this for a long time and couldn’t control but ask me about it. I told him the trail of thoughts going in my mind. Putting me out of my misery he just told me that think it like this. Yes, you may not be lucky to have Moon in your hand, but believe me, it wants to be yours.
That’s the reason it comes back every night to see you. It’s at a distance because it can’t come to you but from a distance it’s yours.
That thought was totally unnatural but pleasing. But still I knew it will take a month for it to come back to the same shape and for me to look at it like this. Hence decided to absorb all of it through my eyes for all the time it was there.
Similarly, there are certain things in our life that are out of our reach. No matter how much we wish those things to be ours, the real beauty of those things are from a distance and not in capturing them.