Category Archives: Abstract

The little things

We went on a trip to Coorg, a few months back. It was a road trip with 4 people going from Chennai to Coorg in a car. We all were happy to go on a trip as it was a break from ‘day to day routine’ after a long gap. I was a bit conscious, as the company I had was totally different from my ideal travel companions. I am the person who would like to visit as many places possible, at a tourist spot. The other three wanted to cover the least possible places and relax at hotel/Zostel for the rest of the time.

If you know, there are very few hill stations in the south. So we had a very specific recommendation about a place Mandalpatti from many people. First two days, we visited a few places, but I was more concerned about the ones we were skipping. Finally, We went to Mandalpatti on the third day. It was a pleasant experience with clouds in front of our eyes and cool breeze touching our skin; while standing on the edge of a mountain. 

As soon as anyone reaches the top he/she could see a small structure. Everyone wanted to be on that last stretch of height even after reaching 4050 ft. Everyone had that urge to climb those stairs and go up by a meagre 10 ft. Like everyone else, we too had to try this!  We tried, there was no such difference. We laughed at ourselves, and others, on how we aren’t satisfied with what we are getting. With this experience, I also reflected on the last two days trip. I thought that I should have been more worried about whether I was in that moment or not, when we went to a spot, than being constantly concerned about missing others. 

The discussion extended on how we always want something different. While we may have good work and money, we might miss the culture. We shift for an organisation with a good culture, and with that change we generally end up missing good work or the salary part. This is just a small example

 It can happen with our relationships with people. When we are around someone we might be busy in the virtual world, only to miss them while they aren’t there. We want to be like our dad in childhood, only to miss it while we grow up. 

Though we will only know the value of something in hindsight, I thought let me start enjoying the little things that I am part of. Maybe next time, I will try to absorb the smell of tea at hand, or enjoy my everyday calls with family more, or enjoy the stay in south Indian city more. Maybe!

the child that doesn’t age

Arush – my nephew was here at our place, his nana’s place and no doubt he was the king – everything that was going around was driven by him. Even the timetable of the home was adjusted according to his sleep cycles. Talking particularly about my parents, they shower love on him to an extent which they didn’t on us, may be because in our childhood they had to play the dual role of spreading love as well as being strict.

One day when he was fast asleep in the noon, his mother thought it was the right time for her to take out 15 minutes which she was trying to get for 3 days now. So, she left home for doing the work. However, at about same time some kids from neighborhood came to home and amidst this Arush was wide awake now. He started crying as soon as he got up. All of us were trying turn by turn to take him and pacify him, but he didn’t even allow us to go near him.

Soon after this his mother arrived. He let her take him in her arms and pacify. In between, he cried bit more and showed some aggression towards her. It was difficult for her to control him as he was no more an infant. But then she kept her hands on his chest, on his face, on his head and this act worked wonders, little boy found his peace in this small activity. Finally when his aggression was diminishing, she forcefully hugged him. Initially he resisted this too, but eventually he gave in and rested in his mother’s arms. After some time he slept with final traces of tears on his cheeks.

Two days after this, we went to a temple and Arush was in full energy mode that day. He was running here and there, laughing and playing. All of us were enjoying this sight, but his mother was asking him to stop running or his legs will pain at night. Unfortunately her prediction came true; the boy started crying at 11 and continued to do so for 2 hours. In these two hours he would not let anyone else come around him, he was being aggressive even to his mother, he even bit her twice and tried scratching her face. May be he was complaining that ‘I trusted you, you should have taken care of me…I am dependent on you’. Somehow his mother again forcefully took control of him and did some massage, which relieved his pain a bit. Finally she took him in her lap and tried to put him to sleep; he slept.

 

As a kid I had learnt that as humans progress even the stages of evolution do impact on the evolved being. If observed closely, the evolution can be seen in every  human being. The circumstances play a major role in what he has become.

 

May be we still have that part of kid left in us which has aggressive part of love stored. But as we grow up, we have to act mature and stay responsible for our acts. So we stay calm. When we have to choose that one person who has the importance of magnitude similar to a parent, we try to find that same peace in the person. We want to be dependent on him/her. We want to trust him/her so much that if we fall during our journey, he/she must pick us up. We want that person to absorb our aggression and even when we are stuck in a difficult situation and don’t find a way out, that person should come to us and say “I am with you’ with a big tight hug. Even when we grow up, we want to remain vulnerable in front of that person.

Love at first sight

it was peak hours for the local trains of Mumbai. I was also in a hurry as after office I had to go from Koparkhairane (Navi Mumbai) to Churchgate (Mumbai) crossing so many stations and changing three locals. I was in a hurry to meet my friends and that was only driving force too considering the crowd in the locals. The crowd has its own momentum. They say the strength of crowd is less than individual sums but in local its exactly opposite strength of crowd is much higher than the sum of individuals. I say this because half of the people don’t even have to walk they just have to stand in the crowd and like an escalator the crowd takes you up and down. The crowd will make sure you get into train, out of train (and if you are unlucky then they will also make sure you don’t get down at the station you want to). If someone tells you the physical distance between you and the other person shows how close you two are, take them to a local, you are standing at a distance you won’t sometimes to even the closest person for that long.

One thing it teaches you in all this crowd, even if you are with so many people you are alone. You are there or not doesn’t matter to the rest of the crowd. That was the situation as usual. Everybody was in a hurry to reach somewhere. Running like P. T. Usha. Nobody has time to see what others are doing. I got down at Dadar to change the train. Dadar being one of the most crowded stations of all, it was difficult to even see someone around. All you could do was keep walking with the rest. But somehow my eyes felt on a couple at some distance. The girl was suddenly crossed by a traveller and his bag hit her with some force. The guy immediately noticed this and came in front of her. His hands were behind in awkward situation. It was even more difficult to spread his hands like that in that crowd where it was difficult to walk normally. The girl had a sense of security on her face and she took a long breath feeling relaxed. She was as if a mother bird takes her child in her wings.

They started walking like that in that crowd. Guy had to take all the hits on his own but he didn’t care. There was some sign of pain on his face when a man carrying heavy luggage hit his hands, which were already in awkward position. The girl also felt that and asked him to walk normally but he didn’t listen. Unable to convince the guy, girl’s eyes were constantly trying to look at the crowd coming from both direction, anticipating will anything hit the guy. All this was happening in fast pace Dadar station but for them the things were running in slow motion. They were acting like heroes of Matrix film for each other. The girl even made the guy bit left and right twice.

I was fascinated by their lovely emotions. I had to catch next train and by luck, they also boarded the same train. Unknowingly I came at the exit of the station, the station I was not supposed to get down, while observing them. . I had to go to Churchgate but they got down at Marine drive station.  I realized it when I was already there. I looked at the watch and don’t know what I thought to myself. I don’t know why but I decided to follow them for some while.

The next thing was both were standing at the road to cross it. There was a line of vehicles, not ready to end as if they were in GIF mode on the desktop. Finally, there was a stop for seconds the guy went forward but the girl kept looking at vehicles. She was a bit afraid to step forward. The guy came back and took the girls hand and started walking. The girl who was afraid of vehicles suddenly got that courage. She was not looking at those vehicles now and followed the guy as if she was in a park, with utmost relaxed attitude. Both of them crossed the road and sat on the side of the famous wall of Marine drive. The emotions of the other people on that wall were different, people were aggressive, busy doing PDA. But these two sat with each other, in each other’s arm looking at the sea and were talking something. I couldn’t stop more than this there as I knew anyways I will be scolded for being late by my friends, so I came back to board the next train.

In this fast paced life, full of passionate emotions, there are few people who have those gentle and caring feelings. It’s good to see those exist.

It was surely love, I felt at first sight and hence I think yes love at first sight exist. I mean if there is the love you will know at first sight.