Category Archives: Khayali pulaav

the child that doesn’t age

Arush – my nephew was here at our place, his nana’s place and no doubt he was the king – everything that was going around was driven by him. Even the timetable of the home was adjusted according to his sleep cycles. Talking particularly about my parents, they shower love on him to an extent which they didn’t on us, may be because in our childhood they had to play the dual role of spreading love as well as being strict.

One day when he was fast asleep in the noon, his mother thought it was the right time for her to take out 15 minutes which she was trying to get for 3 days now. So, she left home for doing the work. However, at about same time some kids from neighborhood came to home and amidst this Arush was wide awake now. He started crying as soon as he got up. All of us were trying turn by turn to take him and pacify him, but he didn’t even allow us to go near him.

Soon after this his mother arrived. He let her take him in her arms and pacify. In between, he cried bit more and showed some aggression towards her. It was difficult for her to control him as he was no more an infant. But then she kept her hands on his chest, on his face, on his head and this act worked wonders, little boy found his peace in this small activity. Finally when his aggression was diminishing, she forcefully hugged him. Initially he resisted this too, but eventually he gave in and rested in his mother’s arms. After some time he slept with final traces of tears on his cheeks.

Two days after this, we went to a temple and Arush was in full energy mode that day. He was running here and there, laughing and playing. All of us were enjoying this sight, but his mother was asking him to stop running or his legs will pain at night. Unfortunately her prediction came true; the boy started crying at 11 and continued to do so for 2 hours. In these two hours he would not let anyone else come around him, he was being aggressive even to his mother, he even bit her twice and tried scratching her face. May be he was complaining that ‘I trusted you, you should have taken care of me…I am dependent on you’. Somehow his mother again forcefully took control of him and did some massage, which relieved his pain a bit. Finally she took him in her lap and tried to put him to sleep; he slept.

 

As a kid I had learnt that as humans progress even the stages of evolution do impact on the evolved being. If observed closely, the evolution can be seen in every  human being. The circumstances play a major role in what he has become.

 

May be we still have that part of kid left in us which has aggressive part of love stored. But as we grow up, we have to act mature and stay responsible for our acts. So we stay calm. When we have to choose that one person who has the importance of magnitude similar to a parent, we try to find that same peace in the person. We want to be dependent on him/her. We want to trust him/her so much that if we fall during our journey, he/she must pick us up. We want that person to absorb our aggression and even when we are stuck in a difficult situation and don’t find a way out, that person should come to us and say “I am with you’ with a big tight hug. Even when we grow up, we want to remain vulnerable in front of that person.

Love at first sight

it was peak hours for the local trains of Mumbai. I was also in a hurry as after office I had to go from Koparkhairane (Navi Mumbai) to Churchgate (Mumbai) crossing so many stations and changing three locals. I was in a hurry to meet my friends and that was only driving force too considering the crowd in the locals. The crowd has its own momentum. They say the strength of crowd is less than individual sums but in local its exactly opposite strength of crowd is much higher than the sum of individuals. I say this because half of the people don’t even have to walk they just have to stand in the crowd and like an escalator the crowd takes you up and down. The crowd will make sure you get into train, out of train (and if you are unlucky then they will also make sure you don’t get down at the station you want to). If someone tells you the physical distance between you and the other person shows how close you two are, take them to a local, you are standing at a distance you won’t sometimes to even the closest person for that long.

One thing it teaches you in all this crowd, even if you are with so many people you are alone. You are there or not doesn’t matter to the rest of the crowd. That was the situation as usual. Everybody was in a hurry to reach somewhere. Running like P. T. Usha. Nobody has time to see what others are doing. I got down at Dadar to change the train. Dadar being one of the most crowded stations of all, it was difficult to even see someone around. All you could do was keep walking with the rest. But somehow my eyes felt on a couple at some distance. The girl was suddenly crossed by a traveller and his bag hit her with some force. The guy immediately noticed this and came in front of her. His hands were behind in awkward situation. It was even more difficult to spread his hands like that in that crowd where it was difficult to walk normally. The girl had a sense of security on her face and she took a long breath feeling relaxed. She was as if a mother bird takes her child in her wings.

They started walking like that in that crowd. Guy had to take all the hits on his own but he didn’t care. There was some sign of pain on his face when a man carrying heavy luggage hit his hands, which were already in awkward position. The girl also felt that and asked him to walk normally but he didn’t listen. Unable to convince the guy, girl’s eyes were constantly trying to look at the crowd coming from both direction, anticipating will anything hit the guy. All this was happening in fast pace Dadar station but for them the things were running in slow motion. They were acting like heroes of Matrix film for each other. The girl even made the guy bit left and right twice.

I was fascinated by their lovely emotions. I had to catch next train and by luck, they also boarded the same train. Unknowingly I came at the exit of the station, the station I was not supposed to get down, while observing them. . I had to go to Churchgate but they got down at Marine drive station.  I realized it when I was already there. I looked at the watch and don’t know what I thought to myself. I don’t know why but I decided to follow them for some while.

The next thing was both were standing at the road to cross it. There was a line of vehicles, not ready to end as if they were in GIF mode on the desktop. Finally, there was a stop for seconds the guy went forward but the girl kept looking at vehicles. She was a bit afraid to step forward. The guy came back and took the girls hand and started walking. The girl who was afraid of vehicles suddenly got that courage. She was not looking at those vehicles now and followed the guy as if she was in a park, with utmost relaxed attitude. Both of them crossed the road and sat on the side of the famous wall of Marine drive. The emotions of the other people on that wall were different, people were aggressive, busy doing PDA. But these two sat with each other, in each other’s arm looking at the sea and were talking something. I couldn’t stop more than this there as I knew anyways I will be scolded for being late by my friends, so I came back to board the next train.

In this fast paced life, full of passionate emotions, there are few people who have those gentle and caring feelings. It’s good to see those exist.

It was surely love, I felt at first sight and hence I think yes love at first sight exist. I mean if there is the love you will know at first sight.

Middle class disorder

I was talking to a very old and dearest friend of mine from good old days,Jitesh from nearly half an hour on various topics shifting from life in Indore to his Interview experience and finally to our personal lives. He coyly confessed in a mischievous tone that he finally had his so-called “moment”. Now by moment, I knew he just meant a kiss and that too with a person he had been in a relationship for two years now.

But then a thought strike in my mind and I asked him, “Yar, shall I ask you something?”
He said,” Yes, please do.”
” I am so surprised that even sex is so easy going for people here.”
He said, “So?”
I said, “But how can it? I just don’t understand it, they will just have it with someone and next day they will be as normal as if nothing had happened and may even have it with someone else too.”

I told him,”It was just yesterday that I was talking to one of my batch mate here, and you know what he said? He was saying his aim here is to get laid with as many girls possible. He said, what use of being too serious is and follow monogamy. And also, that giving importance to stuff like sex with one partner is very narrow-minded thinking and does not make a person of this generation a stud or something ”

He stopped me then n there “wohwohwoh…!!Take a break for a second man….!”

But I wasn’t ready to stop.

I continued, “But won’t they have that feeling of attachment? How is it possible to have no strings attached, after having done everything? How people made it so easy to have a one night stand or a very short course of relationship to which they call it ‘Love’.”

He said, “Because it’s not them , it’s you , me and us. The people stuck in the middle part of society.”

The discussion on this topic went on for next 15-20 minutes, which was never-ending but even after disconnecting the phone call, I was thinking about it.

Maybe yes, there is something called as “MIDDLE-CLASS DISORDER”. So many things which take shape as a mentality of the person, once they are in the middle class and then again dilute once they are above this class. Poors either can’t afford or don’t need to follow some norms. For them meeting every day’s needs is the first priority and how they are acting or how others are perceiving them hardly matters. But when they are in middle class society, they get bothered about what ‘those four people’ will talk about them, and it matters most than their own thought. They have to maintain that one image in the society. For them, a small dent on their image is like that crack on the mirror which cannot be repaired, because there isn’t any ‘forget me’ law applicable to their peers. And once they become rich, becoming cool, maintaining that status quo becomes a necessity rather than their will. If they are not ‘Yo-man’ types, their peers don’t let them become a part of ‘KOOL CLUB’.

Many things indicate this. Starting from simple social things like wearing enough clothes to cover your skin, because poor can’t afford to do it and once they earn enough they spend a very large amount on ‘systematically showing it off’. But the middle class needs to be well maintained so that they look sophisticated types. Men will wear simple design when they can’t just afford clothes and gets drugged with designer wears, they would start wearing colourful clothes once they earn some fortune and again wearing simple becomes classy once you turn rich. When you are poor you can’t afford to go out and eat in hotels, once you start earning some money that becomes the only way of celebration. Many teenagers of college going students spend the large sum of money on going out with friends just because once their friends treated them out so if they don’t that will not give out a good example. And once you turn too rich, it becomes a custom to celebrate random things so that you can maintain your status.
When you are poor you can’t afford to have four walls to have the total privacy of your most private moments, this particular topic becomes taboo when you are a middle-class person and beyond middle-class society, it becomes a topic of your “studness”.
Same goes with behavioural aspects too. If you are poor you can’t show off the power of money. Once you are in middle class, you want to talk about it in peers to gain some respect, sometimes by means like clothes that you wear, the vehicle you drive, but once you are rich, you start giving quotes like, “money doesn’t matter”.

Same goes with political aspirations. When you are in the lower strata, you love politics, may be because that’s what can get you out of your deeply screwed life. Once you enter this middle-class genre, politics becomes most hated or “not for us” thing. And once you earn too much, you again become an integral part of that same ‘politics’.
These are the big issues but we can also take an example of a very small issue like the way of talking. Talking to each other in abusive language is must, else you won’t be able to win fights. But then this becomes a problem in middle class. Once you reach that rich level, unless you call someone “mother fucker’ or use F-word various times, you are not cool.

Poor start drinking out of pressure that they have. But then jab Sharma ji’s son is found drunk by two of his neighbor. Sharmaji can’t appear in social meeting for next few days. Whereas in a higher class, if you are not holding a glass of wine with proper gesture in a social gathering, people will start looking at you with a doubt.
What we can observe with above examples that, there are many habits that exist in lower n upper class. Their forms may differ or there might be a difference in the way they are carried out. But those are things that not only disappear from middle class’s behavior but they even become taboo sometimes.