Arush – my nephew was here at our place, his nana’s place and no doubt he was the king – everything that was going around was driven by him. Even the timetable of the home was adjusted according to his sleep cycles. Talking particularly about my parents, they shower love on him to an extent which they didn’t on us, may be because in our childhood they had to play the dual role of spreading love as well as being strict.
One day when he was fast asleep in the noon, his mother thought it was the right time for her to take out 15 minutes which she was trying to get for 3 days now. So, she left home for doing the work. However, at about same time some kids from neighborhood came to home and amidst this Arush was wide awake now. He started crying as soon as he got up. All of us were trying turn by turn to take him and pacify him, but he didn’t even allow us to go near him.
Soon after this his mother arrived. He let her take him in her arms and pacify. In between, he cried bit more and showed some aggression towards her. It was difficult for her to control him as he was no more an infant. But then she kept her hands on his chest, on his face, on his head and this act worked wonders, little boy found his peace in this small activity. Finally when his aggression was diminishing, she forcefully hugged him. Initially he resisted this too, but eventually he gave in and rested in his mother’s arms. After some time he slept with final traces of tears on his cheeks.
Two days after this, we went to a temple and Arush was in full energy mode that day. He was running here and there, laughing and playing. All of us were enjoying this sight, but his mother was asking him to stop running or his legs will pain at night. Unfortunately her prediction came true; the boy started crying at 11 and continued to do so for 2 hours. In these two hours he would not let anyone else come around him, he was being aggressive even to his mother, he even bit her twice and tried scratching her face. May be he was complaining that ‘I trusted you, you should have taken care of me…I am dependent on you’. Somehow his mother again forcefully took control of him and did some massage, which relieved his pain a bit. Finally she took him in her lap and tried to put him to sleep; he slept.
As a kid I had learnt that as humans progress even the stages of evolution do impact on the evolved being. If observed closely, the evolution can be seen in every human being. The circumstances play a major role in what he has become.
May be we still have that part of kid left in us which has aggressive part of love stored. But as we grow up, we have to act mature and stay responsible for our acts. So we stay calm. When we have to choose that one person who has the importance of magnitude similar to a parent, we try to find that same peace in the person. We want to be dependent on him/her. We want to trust him/her so much that if we fall during our journey, he/she must pick us up. We want that person to absorb our aggression and even when we are stuck in a difficult situation and don’t find a way out, that person should come to us and say “I am with you’ with a big tight hug. Even when we grow up, we want to remain vulnerable in front of that person.